The Island Of Misfits

During the Thanksgiving holiday I spent most of my time working on a sermon and writing my book.

I also watched a few of my favorite holiday movies.

On Thursday I watched “It’s A Wonderful Life.” This movie has some bad theology (such as angels being men who have to merit their wings) but it’s theme takes a look at the providence of God in seeing that while things may not turn out the way we had hoped or planned, if we look back with gratefulness we can see He has used the circumstances in our life to build in us character and to benefit others whether we realize it or not.

On Friday I watched the “Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer” (the clay animation movie) and found myself singing along with Rudolph:

"Why am I such a misfit? I'm not such a nitwit, why don't I fit in?"

Rudolph meets an elf (who wants to be a dentist) and a crazy prospector and then they make their way to an entire island of misfit and broken toys.

These toys just need to be loved and given a home.

Each and every toy has something wrong with them, they don’t function or fit in as they should and consequently they have been discarded and then collected by the king, a flying lion, who brings them to the Island of Misfit Toys.

When Rudolph, the dentist and the prospector arrive they go before the king asking for a home but the king tells them that the island is only for toys.

The king then tells Rudolph that when he sees Santa, to remind him of these toys who just need a home and to be loved.

When I went to church on Sunday I couldn’t help but think of the island as the world, the toys as broken people and that the church as the home for misfit toys.

Perhaps some Christians are better at acting like they’re whole, but most of us have some sort of brokenness, misfitness, and that is why we need Christ.

Now, if we can just get everybody to stop playing reindeer games and just ADMIT their brokenness we might discover a lot of healing going on.

I am currently working on a chapter in my book in which I answer the question, “Was I born Gay?”

In it I discuss the consequences of the fall and the effect that original sin has had on mankind - mentally, physically, socially, psychologically, and emotionally.

The Bible teaches us about the effect of the fall from a number of different angles such that sin is not just “bad things we do” (violating God’s law in iniquities, trespasses, and transgressions) but it is also a condition that we are in that is spoken of as uncleanness (pictured in the purity laws), disease, slavery, oppression, bondage and brokenness.


The result of our personal brokenness is a bent towards sin often manifested in sexual brokenness. Serial divorces, prostitution, addiction to pornography and same sex attractions are but a few types of sexual brokenness in which a person attempts to fill an emotional desire, a thirst, in a sinful manner.

Sexual brokenness is an emotional drive within us to fix something which is broken through a sexual act.

The fall from grace in the Garden of Eden has infected sin into the heart of mankind and the consequences is that we no longer function intellectually and emotionally as originally designed because we are broken in the totality of our humanity.

With the mind, will, and emotions of human infected with the disease of sin, the self-destructive fallen nature of mankind compels us to choose to sin resulting in broken and hurting people who long for wholeness. This then has an effect on our families, our society, our culture and the entire world.

The result of our personal brokenness is a bent towards sin often manifested in sexual brokenness. Serial divorces, prostitution, addiction to pornography and same sex attractions are but a few types of sexual brokenness in which a person attempts to fill an emotional desire, a thirst, in a sinful manner.

For example, the woman at the well went from husband to husband and the man she was with when she met Jesus was not her husband. (John 4:17-18) But Jesus doesn’t quote the seventh commandment to her, “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” (Exodus 20:14) Rather He addresses the underlying issue, the need for living water and to worship in spirit and in truth that can only come through knowing the Messiah. Jesus was concerned with more than (but not less than) the external behavior of this woman’s serial divorce. He went to the root of the sin, her brokenness that could only be healed by His living water.

Yet, as sinners even Christians often continue to attempt to heal our brokenness in a sinful manner with that which cannot quench our spiritual thirst and the satisfy the longings of our heart.

It might be tempting at this point to simply declare to people “If you have a broken heart, come to Jesus and you’ll be healed” but more often times than not Jesus heals people through a process.

Just as the man born blind in Mark chapter 8:23-25 was healed in stages, first seeing in a blurry fashion and then clearly, so too just as we often need time to heal from a physical injury, so too it is with our receiving the liberty and freedom from sin and all of its affects.

Healing sexual brokenness is often a process.

And the first step is recognizing our brokenness, rightly diagnosing it and then seeking, by the grace of God, to go through the healing process.

The Dysfunctional Family Thanksgiving

Okay, so lately most of my posts recently have been theological without a whole lot of “me” in them.

And I have debated in my mind whether or not to post this one….

But I figure there are people out there who can relate so here goes…

Thanksgiving Dinner with my biological family was “nice.”

It was cordial and polite.

That’s about all I can say positively about it.

I felt like I was eating with complete strangers with whom I have absolutely no emotional connection and very little in common.

I had been invited over to several of my church family’s homes and I really would have rather spent the day with them. Deep inside I feel like they are my real family.

But, I had avoided my biological family the past couple years during the holidays and now with my biological father being gone as well as my grandmother I felt like I needed to be there as much as I could. My mother’s health is failing so I don’t expect her to be around much longer so I figure this may be one of the last opportunities to spend a holiday with her.

We celebrated the holiday at my younger brother’s house along with his wife and their twin 7 month old sons.

You might think that going to see my nephews would be reason enough to go, but every time I see them I can’t but help think of their aborted siblings that had to die in order for them to come into this world.

I am sympathetic with my brother and sister-in-law wanting to have children but using the abortive process of IVF in which some of the embryos are kept while others are purposefully discarded in order to have a child is not morally justifiable.

But if you think the Bible is a flawed quasi God-given/human originated book and the commandments from the Old Testament are the product of a naïve unscientific culture with no relevance for humanity today “as we know it,” then just about anything can be justifiable in order to fill our individual desires and wants, whether it is to have children to fill a void in the home or find “sexual fulfillment” in a homosex act.

Of course, I shouldn’t love my nephews any less for it is not their fault that they are the result of their parent’s sin. King Solomon was the result of his father committing adultery with his mother Bathsheba, killing his mother’s first husband Uriah, and then taking her to be added to his harem and subsequently giving birth to him. Yet, God loved Solomon no less because of it.

My younger brother and his wife go to a liberal Presbyterian church that once hosted Gay Theology apologist Jack Rogers and they have a large Obama poster on their wall and an Obama/Biden sticker on their refrigerator.

Don’t misunderstand me. If I heard conservative Bible-believing Presbyterians talk about a Republican president the way they speak about Obama in almost messianic like terms I think I’d vomit.

So when I hear them talk about Jesus I just “sigh.”

What Jesus do they believe in you can’t trust the historicity and reliability of the Bible?

You end up creating your own Jesus by following a multi-color coded Bible in which the Jesus Seminar voted with allotted colored beads which statements in the gospels are genuinely from Jesus and which are not.

They call this process “scholarship.”

Then there are my other siblings, all of whom are Church drop-outs and either overtly deny the faith or relegate the Bible as a helpful reference to be used like Aesop’s fables, helpful at times for inspirational ideas but not something that ought to be believed or obeyed.

There is a lot more than could be said, but I think you get the picture.

Thanksgiving is a national holiday with some religious overtones because of the faith of the Pilgrims – they were giving thanks to God, not the Indians.

But now comes Christmas – do I really want to spend the day in which we are supposed to celebrate the birth of my savior with my biological family?

No, not really.

I’m not sure what I’m going to do a month from now but I am leaning towards the idea spending some individual time with my mother before the holiday and then spending Christmas day with my real family – my bothers and sisters in Christ.

“Have You Stopped Kicking Your Dog Yet?” (Personal Apologetics Part 4)

There are few common tactics that fools, those who don’t really want to hear the truth, use in an attempt to make you look stupid.

The first is to ask you a question which cannot be answered either “yes” or “no” such as “Have you stopped kicking your dog yet?”

The assumption is that I have a dog and that I have kicked it. If I say “yes” then I am admitting that I once kicked my dog and if I say “no” then I of course look even worse.

Don’t answer these sorts of questions in the way that they expect. They are a trap and Jesus often encountered them with the Pharisees. Instead, turn the question back on them, “On what basis would it be right or wrong to kick a dog?” At that point I am requiring that they come up with an objective universally authoritative standard for morality and ethics which their worldview cannot provide

The second tactic is what I call the “shot gun” argument. They throw multiple questions or arguments at you, each of which has a legitimate answer or response but by stacking the deck with a multitude of assertions they prove that they really don’t want an answer, they just want to overwhelm you so that you can’t respond. The best thing to do in this case is to tell them “let’s stick to one issue at a time” and then see if they have the patience to really hear what you have to say.

More often than not they don’t really listen and are just waiting for you to finish what you are saying so that they can make their text statement or pose another question. Even if you adequately and thoroughly answered the first question they have ignored everything you have just said. If they have no response to what you just said they will want to dodge the answer and move on to another question.

Don’t allow them to move on. Tell them to stick to the first point of discussion. With J.W.s I tend to stick to the personhood of Jesus Christ and using their own Bible demonstrate that Jesus is YHWH. When I do this with J.W.s (which happens a lot) they tend to want to leave and move on to their next potential convert.

The third tactic I frequently run into is the short question that requires a long answer. The problem is that either they are not willing to listen to the answer or because of limited time (such as on a radio or television talk show) or limited space (such as on a blog) it is not possible to give them a thorough answer. This is what I refer to as the “complicated question” and the answer deserves more time and space than what is permitted.

The best way to respond is to inform them, “I have a good answer to your question, but are you willing and able to sit and truly listen for the next 30 minutes?”

If they so “no” then simply tell them, “Let me know when you are willing and able to listen and then I’ll give you an answer.”

If they say “yes” watch and see how long it takes for them to either interrupt you (“Ya but….”) or their eyes begin to glaze over and they are only biding their time to ask you another question.

It is amazing how often their next question was already answered in what I just said as I respond, “Weren’t you listening, I just answered that question.”

The fourth most common tactic that I run into is what is called the ignoratio elenchi argument. This is an argument that keeps being asserted even though it has already been thoroughly and adequately refuted. Usually the hope is that the person receiving the argument has not been made aware of the answer or refutation.

A person who makes such argument may have gotten them from a Gay Theology apologist book and has not though it through for themselves, they just keep repeating it because it sounds good to them. Gay Theology books out number their opposition about 20-1 and yet these books don’t say anything new. They just keep repeating the same fallacious arguments. Gay Theology apologists are winning this debate not with their arguments but just by continually repeating the same lie over and over again with the hope that the shear mass of material will overwhelm the opposition.

Sadly, I think most of the books responding to Gay Theology are not thorough enough as they fail to deal with the issue pastorally and presuppositionally.

This is why I am writing my book.

Humility and Respect (Personal Apologetics Part 3)

The following is the most well known, but least followed, passages on the subject of apologetics:

“Who is there to harm you if you prove zealous for what is good? But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed. And do not fear their intimidation, and do not be troubled, but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness [meekness/moedesty] and reverence.” (1 Peter 3:13-15)

Peter exhorts Christians to do the following:

(1) “Do not fear their intimidation” or troubled by those who oppose the Christian faith, whether it is an oppressive government or pseudo-christian religions (cults). For even if you suffer for Christ’s sake you are blessed as Jesus said, “Blessed are they that suffer persecution for justice' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 5:10) Many Christians are afraid to go toe to toe with those who oppose the Christian faith and a Biblical view of morality for they fear that they will not know how to answer them or that they might look foolish. If that is the case, then it is time to learn to defend your faith and be willing to do boldly for the truth what cults do for a lie.

(2) “Sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts.” The Lordship of Jesus Christ is what is always at the heart of the issue. Pseudo-christian religions always denegrate the person or work of Christ or in the name of Jesus seek to use His name and liberty as an excuse for licenciousness.

(3) “Always being ready to make a defense” The first step for any soldier (or Marine in my case) is to go to boot camp. Then the person is ready for spiritual war. Ideally childhood is the time for “spiritual bootcamp” as parents raise their children to know and live their Christian faith (Deuteronomy 6:7; Proverbs 22:6; Ephesians 6:4) and pastors supliment that training with the preached word. But many of us become Christians later in life and so we need to be discipled by pastors and other mature Christian men to know and be able to defend the faith. THEN Christians will “always being ready” to defend the faith. But we cannot be passive in this, we need to be responsible for outselves to study the Word of God that we might know how to rightly understand it,

“Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth.” (2 Timothy 3:15)

(4) “Yet with gentleness and reverence.” It is very common to find missing among zealous Christians who are into apologetics a sense of humility, meekness and respect. They get their head full of knowledge (or so they think) and they’re just out to bash everyone so they can win a debate. The truth is you can be 100% right in your agruments and seemingly “win” the debate and yet be 100% wrong in your attritude and manner in which you deal with unbelievers or those who are in doctrinal or morall error with the result that you LOSE the soul you should be seeking to win.

TRUTH and LOVE need to go hand in hand with humility and RESPECT.

Through Their Eyes (Personal Apologetics Part 2)

One of the most difficult things to do (in my experience) is to try to see and interpret the world through the lens of another person.

I have my own paradigm through which I sift the facts of life and it has changed to some degree (within the larger framework of the Christian faith) as I have had to make adjustments here and here in order to align my thinking to a more consistent understanding of Scripture.

I was raised with a dispensational Baptist framework that viewed Christianity as purely an individual private religion in which God had a separate plan of salvation for Jews and Gentiles, the world was in a downward spiral towards a one world government, the anti-Christ was about to appear on the scene any day and the church was about to experience a great escape (the “rapture”) because national Israel had been restored in 1948. Popular Dispensationalism is very conspiratorial in nature and tends to be techno-phobic for it interprets every advancement in technology as another step in placing a bar code (or computer chip) into the heads or hands of people as the “mark of the beast.”

Now I know that all the prognostications of so-called prophecy experts are absolute non-sense, the beast was Nero (not a computer), the New Covenant church is the new Israel, God has one plan of salvation for Jews and Gentiles and we need to have an expectation of victory of the gospel in the world for Jesus will remain at the right hand of the Father until His will is done on earth as it is in heaven (Matthew 6:10) and all of His enemies have been made His footstool (Hebrews 1:13). Most of the popular Dispensational doom and gloom prognosticators (Chuck Smith, Hal Lindsey etc) have at one time or another prophesied falsely concerning the second coming of Christ by setting dates. Yet, people continue to listen to these false preachers and buy their books, forgetting what they had said back in the 1970’s.

I know what it is like to be one of these people and interpret the news through their lens. I heard their preaching and false teaching for years and use to think just like them.

As I stated in my last entry, for an entire summer I studied and dialogued with Jehovah’s Witnesses. I have read their “Bible” (The New World Translation), studied it thoroughly and I am well acquainted with its serious errors. Having read their materials (rather than books refuting Watch Tower Theology) I learned how they think, how they view Jesus and twist the Scriptures. Having spent time with J.W.’s I know how they respond to questions in a sort of preprogrammed manner.

I have done this not merely by reading their material but in dialoging with them I came to know how to see the world through their eyes and yet not succumb to their worldview. It wasn’t easy and it required a great deal of studying, truly listening to what they had to say rather than just looking for an opportunity to beat them in a debate.

I have done this same thing with a number of other worldviews, many of them claiming to be Christian (Liberal Protestantism, Mormonism, Moonies etc.). It is extremely difficult thing to do because my own paradigm was being challenged, my own beliefs were being challenged and I had to intellectually and emotionally resist giving in to doubt or agnosticism.

My current journey and study of Gay Theology is a lot like those except this one is much more personal. I don’t have to try real hard to learn how Gay people think and feel because I have a lot in common with them emotionally and psychologically.

As I read books by Gay Theology apologists (over 40 books and growing) I feel as if I am outnumbered. It seems for every 20 Gay Theology book there is only one offering a counter argument and they all tend to say the same thing without dealing with the underlying presuppositions or offering hope to those who are looking for answers. Then there are all the “self-help” books about how to change and about 99% of them offer psychological solutions that I find are contrary to a Scriptural view of man and the solutions to sin.

But there is a gap in my experience for I have never lived “the gay lifestyle” (for the lack of a better term) and I have never been marginalized by the church, probably because I am “straight acting.” In fact my closest friends and elders have been supportive although they don’t know just quite what to tell me at times because they can’t relate to what I am going through. But they love me and pray for me that is what is really important.

So, I am trying to learn from the testimonies of others and what they have experienced to understand what it is like to be in and then leave the Gay community. I am also learning what it is like for young Christians, who have no solid Biblical or theological training or pastoral support, to have to come to grips with their faith and conflicting sexual feelings.

One of the ways I did this was watch the “Through My Eyes” video published by GCN. It is emotionally gripping and I am very sympathetic with everyone in the documentary and was surprised to see someone in it that I know personally. I couldn’t help cry at times as they told their stories of being rejected, of being depressed, living in fear and not finding answers.

But this is what concerns me – that many people will watch the video, feel as I do and instead of being equipped to give an answer to Gay Theology will instead begin to buy into the message of the Gay Christian Network and follow the false teachers that they promote.

I wish every pastor would watch this film and see the need to open the doors to people struggling with their sexual identity. I wish pastors would take the time to develop a Christ-like response to this growing identity crisis in the church and the culture around us.

One that is loving rather than superficially judgmental, shepherding rather than condoning or condemning.

TRUTH Is An Orientation (Personal Apologetics Part 1)

Many years ago (20 or so) I was with some friends who were in a church softball league in which they competed against other Christians from other congregations. It was interesting to see how Christians could play competitively and yet still maintain a Christ-like attitude of fellowship.

I wasn’t on the team and so along with another friend of mine I sat on the bench watching them play. Suddenly a couple of young white blond haired boys on bicycles with white shirts and black name tags showed up and began talking to one of the young ladies on the team.

My friend said to me, “Erik, THEY’RE Mormons! You gotta do something!”

I was young, zealous and new to studying apologetics so with Bible in hand I jumped off the bench and proceeded to chop of their ear with my “sword of the spirit” (Ephesians 6:17) to defend the Christ of the Bible (and come to this sister’s rescue!) much in the way that Peter did when the soldiers came to arrest Jesus. (John 18:10)

While my intentions may have been noble my actions were anything but Christ-like.

After quoting a few verses and challenging them to a debate the young lady said, “Erik, I know how you feel… but these are friends of mine and I invited them to come watch us play softball.”

It turns out she didn’t need me to defend her; she had studied Mormonism and was well equipped to not only defend her faith but also witness to these young lads. What she was trying to do was befriend them, get to know them as people and thereby win their trust so that they might be more apt to listen to not merely her Biblical-theological arguments but see them as coming from someone with the love of Christ.

Later on I went up to them and apologized for acting the way I did.

They told me, “We get that all the time… but we don’t get very many apologies.”

A couple years later I moved into an apartment complex across from the college I was attending. I had a hunch that it wouldn’t be long before Mormons or Jehovah’s Witnesses would be knocking at my door and I was right. I hadn’t even finished unpacking when two J.W.’s rang my door bell.

This time I decided to take a different approach.

I invited them in, offered them some ice tea and spent some time getting to know them while accepting their literature. I then spent the entire summer studying their materials, their history and improving my theology. Each week they would return for another visit, I would ask them questions (which they couldn’t answer) and although they never left their cult they told me that they had never met anyone who knew their Bible so well and treated them politely.

The main thing I kept in my mind was, it isn’t my job to convert them. I am called to plant a seed or water what has been previously been sown but it is God who makes it grow. (1 Corinthians 3:6)

There is a need to gain someone’s ear if you expect to communicate truth to them. This is why Peter tells wives who have unbelieving husbands that by their conduct they can win them to Christ “without a word.” (1 Peter 3:1) It is not that a person can come to know the truth just by your actions, but your personal relationship with them and kindness towards them will let them know that they aren’t just a target for your proselytizing and that you actually care about them as a person.

This is why in His earthly ministry Jesus had two different approaches with people.

With the lost sinners who were wanderers from the fold he was a kind and forgiving shepherd. He ate and drank with sinners, tax collectors (who were betraying their own people by working for the Romans) and prostitutes as he said, “It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick; I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” (Mark 2:17)

But with the self-righteous teachers who twisted the Scriptures and nullified the law of God with their traditions both Jesus (Matthew 15:3) and the apostle Paul had very stern words for them, “…I wish that those who are troubling you would even mutilate themselves.” (Galatians 5:12)

This is the same approach I try to take when dealing with the issue of homosexuality.

I don’t go around jumping into debates and trying to chop people up with the Bible. But I won’t run from a challenge either. I will stand my ground and “both exhort in sound doctrine and to refute those who contradict.” (Titus 1:9)

As one who knows how it feels to have same sex attractions and how difficult it can be to stay true to the moral requirements of the Bible I try to let people know that I am sympathetic with what they are going through.

But I will not compromise truth for the sake of a false notion of “love.”

It is loving to tell someone the truth even though they may get upset, angry and accuse you of being narrow minded, homophobic and intolerant.

TRUTH is an orientation.

Book Writing Update

I received a response to my last blog post from Richard Brentlinger. We then entered into a debate and in the process he was linking his web site in my comment section.

His last comment (which I did not allow to be posted) had imbedded links in a sentence and since I did not want my blog to become a place for him to promote his agenda or advertise for his web site I decided not to post his comment.

In his last comment (which I did not post) he brought up old and expected questions which deserve a thorough and Biblical answer. The problem is in order to respond thoroughly I would have to post around 120 pages.

I have found that anything over an equivalency to 4 pages on a Word processing document posted on a blog will not be read. Rarely does anyone spend more than a minute reading this blog. His questions and objections are expected, they’re not new and so I’ll be providing a response in my book.

Speaking of which….

My day begins at 3 a.m.

I get up and begin writing and drinking coffee.

At around 6:30 a.m. I start getting ready for work and I’m on the road at 7 a.m.. On my way to work I listen to sermons on the radio (usually Alistair Begg) on my car stereo or sometimes Christian music to set my mind ready for the day.

At lunch I read my Bible for 30 minutes, take a 30-minute nap and then get back to work.

After work I go to the gym, read for 30 minutes (usually about theology or wine) while on a stationary bike, lift weights for 30-60 minutes, go home, eat dinner and I’m in bed by 8:30 – 9 p.m..

Then my day begins again at 3 a.m.

At this pace I can write about 40 pages (rough draft) a week. I have outlined 21 chapters for my book and I hope to have a rough draft completed by beginning next summer, a final version by the end of summer and it published by October 2010.

At this rate I estimate the book will be around 840 pages but I have more ideas for more chapters in the back of my head so I am sure it will be over 1,000 pages.

Should I publish it as one book? A series of books?

I don’t know.

I am trying to be both scholarly and pastoral, to deal with both the exegetical, apologetical and theological issues as well as the personal and practical issues.

I don’t need any financial assistance due to receiving a rather large inheritance.

However, I do need prayer and I anticipate that I will need some help editing and creating a web site to launch this book.

I also would really appreciate some time in the near future a partner in the ministry who has a similar vision and complimentary gifts, skills and talents. Specifically, I could really use the help of a computer geek who is Macintosh oriented.

I am also thinking through and reading books on the practical, logistical aspects of ministry and how to communicate cross-culturally. In essence, in my mind I am developing “A Theology of Missions to Sub-Cultures.”